The Blind Spot and the Candy Bar

My oh my how I have neglected this blog. I could pass the buck and say that since George B & Monkalicious stopped writing, I haven't really checked in much, which makes me much less likely to post. For awhile, pregnancy was messing with my nocturnal leanings, making me bag out and climb into bed by 10pm, something I haven't done since high school. I could just say I feel kind of lame about posting my ramblings and I've been busy....yadda yadda yadda. But really, what's really happening is I've been a big nerd...plugging away at exam studying. I just took General Structures (licensing exam #5) this morning and felt like I'd been beaten up. I understand now why people feel like they should be knighted for actually making it through all the exams and getting licensed...it's a looong painful journey. So anyway, that's the plain jane boring side to it. Now onto the blog musings.

The reality that I have a real live baby forming inside me hit when I saw my ultrasound. Somehow seeing that little guy (it's a boy) in there pedaling his feet made it suddenly all too real, and I could finally develop a concept of this person. You always hear about all the pregnancy cliches but I admit it's really disturbing and moving when it's actually happening to you. In the movies, when the parents see their baby the first time and seem all weepy I think Duh! They knew they were having a baby! But it's really like that. Things I NEVER thought would happen to ole jaded me- are happening whether I want it to or not. The Preggo Brain. I stand in front of the vending machine at work for a good 10 minutes, paralyzed with indecision. Crunch bar? 3 Musketeers? One's got crispy goodness but the other tastes so naughty with all that nougat..hmmmm...The Food Craving. I have 2 jars of pickles in my fridge, because I wasn't satisfied with Vlasic, my husband got me Klausen, and now I'm trying to figure out how to get my paws on Ba-Tampte, a pickle that I think is only distributed on the east coast. And I HATE pickles. But now I don't. I can't get enough fruit, and I'm usual terrible when it comes to eating my fruits and veggies. The Random Moodswing. I'll be watching a TLC show about little kids and well up with tears just because I'm suddenly overwhelmed by how cute and earnest they are in their anxiety that Dad is in the garage working, so he can't play with them. The Clumsiness. I keep spilling things on myself, because I'm not used to having a soccer ball belly protruding from my front....that's always been a big vacuum on the way to pavement. Speaking of which I realized I now have a blind spot on my body. Not your back like you'd normally have, but right in front of me, in a zone somewhere between my belly button and my knees, I have no idea what's going on anymore. I realized it one morning when I thought I spilled water in my lap and realized I couldn't tell! There I was, patting clumsily about my lap like a TSA worker for the water spill because I couldn't see anything...I finally asked my coworker if I spilled on myself and she laughed. I need to attach a convex mirror to my knee to make sure everything's in order in that region now. And what I was convinced would feel like freaky alien churnings has turned out to be amazingly natural...I wake up in the morning eagerly waiting to feel that first somersault or kick to make sure everything is still okay in there. Sometimes he's so active that I'll burst out laughing to myself or exclaim 'Ow! Stop that!' - no doubt sounding like the crazy chick over in that cubicle. So yes it's been highly entertaining. And as much I didn't expect to think it, I love it.